5 Steps to releasing emotional clutter

Be Clutter Free! 5 Steps to Releasing Emotional Clutter If you imagine that life is a journey we are all on. Some of us have a destination in mind, we have a map and all the equipment and money that we need to get us there. Some of us have no idea where we are going and few resources but we are perfectly content with that, we just want to have an adventure and enjoy the journey. On our travels we can encounter challenges that slow us down or change our course. Sometimes we let the challenges get us down, they make our journey less enjoyable and sometimes the obstacles stop us altogether, we feel stuck, unable to continue on the journey at all. This is what emotional clutter does to us. This article is about how we can deal with those challenges and obstacles. Step One: Identify Your Emotional Clutter Start a list of your gripes, moans, fears, anxieties, complaints anger, anything that springs to mind. Allow as much time as needed on this and keep adding during the week as other things crop up. The most important thing to remember here is that the purpose of the exercise is to identify not to immerse yourself in negative emotions, to unearth what’s there so that we can shine a light onto it. So don’t dwell on the negative feelings. If you do get emotional or bogged down, take a breather, go for a walk, a sleep, read, watch tv and come back to the list later on. It’s important to be honest even if you feel a little uncomfortable. When I did my list there were some feelings that I felt very guilty about. Step 2: How Would You Like to Feel? Now comes the juicy bit – the bit that starts to unstuck the vile sludge of negativity. Take each one of your moans in turn and write exactly how you would like it to be and why. Get into the feeling place. Even if the things are in the past or you feel you can’t do anything about them, it doesn’t matter, just identify how you would have liked things to have been. How you would like things to be now. Keep all your language positive, about what you want, not what you don’t want. It’s important again to be very honest. What do you really want? It does not matter if it seems to be in the realm of fantasy. This is your Well, What Do I Want? list. Treasure it. You will be adding to it and using it to build more positivity. You have taken your first steps on your new journey. Step 3: What ‘Could’ You Do Now? Go back to your Well, What Do I Want? list. Take each item in turn and ask yourself this question: In order to fully release my negative feelings and embrace the positive intention that’s here, what could I do next? It’s important to understand that it doesn’t mean that you ‘have’ to do something it just means that you ‘could’ do it. It’s about opening the possibilities up. About opening the door and shinning the torch in. There is no pressure here, no list of ‘must do’s’ Some of the things that come up will be practical, others emotional. Here are some examples from my list: •forgive him •forgive myself •get a gardener •enjoy the chocolate •write a letter •ask for some advice All that you need to make sure is that all the possibilities are ones that would make you feel good or better in some way. It very likely that by now you will have new impetus and resolve to take positive steps. You may have a strong desire to look forwards rather than back. Go with it and enjoy yourself! Step 4: Time for Action? Finding ways that we could declutter our emotions is liberating and makes us feel more positive. Taking positive actions is even more powerful. Which item on your list could you do first? Which item on your list could be the easiest to do? Which item on your list could be the most powerful to do? Take the steps you need to start making yourself feel better. Step 5: Releasing Unconscious Emotions This step encourages us to look at the next level of our emotions: the unconscious. Are there areas where you feel very stuck and nothing seems to create a shift for you? Becoming an Observer By becoming the observer of your own feelings you will come to a greater understanding of yourself and be better able to let things go as negative emotions release their grip on you. I first came across the notion of being an ‘observer’ in Thresholds of the Mind by Bill Harris. Bill calls it, Finding the Witness. The idea is that …. “part of you observes what is happening even as it happens. When you observe in this way you feel as if you are standing outside yourself and observing how you’re feeling, what you are doing, and how you’re interacting with your environment.” You learn incredible amounts about yourself by doing this and after a really short space of time you begin to have a greater understanding of your emotions. This gives you choice. Become an observer. What do you learn? Learning EFT Another technique which can really help to clear unconscious blocks is EFT. This stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. This is free for everyone to learn and can be truly miraculous so check it out at: emo-free. What’s wonderful about this technique is how easy and completely emotionally painless it can be. One Final Word There are many professionals that are there to help you release emotional blocks and I would strongly advise that you seek this help if you are struggling on your own. Psychotherapists Kineisiologists Psychologists Life Coaches Counsellors Spiritual Guidance If you feel you have serious emotional problems start with your GP who will refer you. Above all, enjoy the journey! Have a wonderful life: emotional, physical and spiritual. Clear that clutter and enjoy!!!!

Try this chakra meditation

Chakra meditation helps to strengthen weak chakras and will benefit your health, wisdom and happiness. If you need to recharge your body, mind and soul then using chakra meditation is an excellent way to revitalize you from the inside out. How to perform a chakra meditation The first few times you practice a chakra meditation, make sure that you have an expert to guide you. Ideally face to face, but at least with a guided CD. You need to make sure that your chakras are left more in balance at the end of the meditation than they were when you started! Start your meditation by sitting down, cross legged in a quiet, dimly lit room Make sure that your spine is straight but not stiff Close your eyes then take a deep breath and start to relax Now go through each chakra in turn, starting with the root chakra: Imagine that you are drawing energy up from the earth, through the root chakra and that this is building up in the base of your spine. Then the navel chakra: feel the concentration of energy building up around your navel and visualize a flow of warm lava out of this chakra center. Moving on to the solar plexus chakra, let your stomach muscles relax deeply and sense the movement of the energy through your diaphragm. Next is the heart chakra. Imagine your heart getting stronger with every breath. See and feel a bright light radiating out from this area. Progressing on to the throat chakra, breath in with force. Then gradually relax your tongue, shoulders and neck. For the brow chakra, keeping your eyes closed, focus on your "third eye" (the point between your eyebrows). Endeavor to see this area even though your eyes are close and observe what you are seeing. Finally, it's the crown chakra. Visualize a beautiful lotus with a thousand petals blossoming from the tip of your head. As you visualize, see the color change from a deep violet through to a brilliant white light. Done correctly, the chakra meditation can bring you into union with your God. It is a very powerful form of meditation and helps you to stabilize your body, bringing an inner peace and harmony to you.

Attract vibrant health into your life with the law of attraction

There have been quiet a few books written on the Law of Attraction. You may have already read some of them yourself the information about the Law of Attraction is powerful. The Oprah show and Larry King live talked about the Law of Attraction. Joe Vitale has written his famous book the “Attractor Factor”, Michael J. Losier has written the book “Law of Attraction “ to mention just 2 of the many books written on it. Countless people have already been able to make big changes in their lives. With the rising healthcare costs and the increasing prices in medicines many people looking for alternative healthcare. Watching the “Secret” and learning about the Law of Attraction has helped already many people to improve their health. Our bodies are made to heal themselves. Determination and will power will help us to use the power of the Law of Attraction and keep vibrant health. Of course that sound easy but it is still some work involved. First of all we have to believe that it is possible. If we think that we cannot change certain health conditions then they probably will not change. On the other hand if we have a strong will and are convinced that we can get well, this may be possible. There are many cases of persons who have been cured from dreadful deceases without a possible explanation. The Secret DVD even introduced 2 people who are telling their extra ordinary story of healing when using the power of the Law of Attraction. You can take the first steps to help yourself and to improve your health. You can have a healthy body way up into old age. Of course you want to do as far as it is up to you to live a healthy lifestyle. Here is how you can get started today to use the power of the universe to improve your health: 1. Find some more information about the Law of Attraction. You can do this going to a local book store, checking out books from the library, or going online while drinking a cup of coffee. 2. We are vibrational beings and the Law of Attraction responds to our vibrations with exact matches there are no exceptions. So what we feel and what we think makes all the difference. It is not what we say but it is what we feel that affects our vibrations and the Law of Attraction simply responds to this. To get well we need to feel well. How can we change our feelings? By reprogramming our thoughts! Start to meditate every day for at least about 10 minutes. This helps you to relax your mind and body! It enables you to listen to your inner being and become one with your inner self. It will help you to connect things together mentally and emotionally. Now you can begin your healing process. 3. When using the Law of Attraction the way you intend, you can start saying affirmations that are in harmony with good health and happiness. You could say for example “ I am a happy person and I love my healthy and strong body”. When saying your affirmations put your feelings and emotions into it! Try to feel how it feels to be strong and healthy. Of course it may be difficult at first. Feeling healthy when you are not may be challenging. It is however a process that will get you to experience a healthier you. You will not experience drastic changes overnight but if you pay attention to yourself you will notice a difference soon after you start your healing program using the Law of Attraction. You can say these affirmations daily or throughout the day. Determination to get well will help you along the way. You can also read books of success stories of people who overcame sever health conditions. Your body will respond to this and you will see at least an improvement if not total recovery. This is a wonderful method which has been proven affective for many people who have used the Law of Attraction to overcome their health problems. Try it for yourself! To find more information check out this link:

How to attract money with the law of attraction

Many people want to know how to get more money. You may have seen the movie "The Secret" and followed the guidelines, but still find yourself wanting more. Did you do something wrong? Are you just not smart enough to "get it"? Not at all. You see, the movie "The Secret" was only a superficial introduction to the deeper things of the law of attraction. It's not just thinking positive, visualizing houses, cars and money, and then all of a sudden having it all fall out of the sky. Not at all. The law of attraction goes deeper than your thoughts, your deepest wishes, and your intentions. It goes to that unconscious level of you that you didn't know you had. You can catch a glimpse of this when you dream. We've all dreamt things that we would not ordinarily do in our every day life. That's the part that the Universe, God, Superconsciousness or whatever you want to call it responds to. The key to manifesting more money in your life is to bring all of the different levels of YOU in harmony into one single focus. Now that is a little more complex then just saying affirmations or looking at pictures of fancy cars and houses. It's about letting go of deep rooted thoughts such "the rich are getting richer", "money is the root of all evil", or that there is something noble or spiritual about being poor and struggling. Now at first you may think that you don't believe any of that. Consciously, you may not, but deep down inside it may be a totally different story. That's where meditation comes into play, and constantly asking yourself how you feel. Here's a test to show you just how you feel about money. Can you imagine manifesting an extra $25 by the end of next Friday without having done anything strenous or difficult to get it? How does that feel? Now imagine manifesting an extra $10,000 by the next of next Friday without having done anything strenuous or difficult to get it. Do you feel a difference there? That is called inner resistance. You see most people have resistance to money. They don't know it unconsciously until it's brought to their attention. They associate one with the other. They think they have to work overtime to get extra money, or win the lottery, or struggle or steal to get that extra money. In truth, the possibilities are infinite, and they can happen where everyone involved can benefit. This is a mindset that is not easily attained just by reading this article. It is a daily practice of questioning yourself. You also have to make friends with money. Money is an energy, much like you and I. Everything in this Universe is made up of energy. Intelligent energy. Therefore, having a healthy love of money, will attract it to you. That is the basis of the law of attraction. What you show love to, will want to come to you more and more. If you are broke and short on money, be sure to always keep a few coins or a few dollar bills in a sack and during the day count it and hold it. Become thankful for that money and send love to it. It may sound strange to you, since in most parts of the world we are taught that if you are not struggling and if you're wealthy, that you must be doing something wrong. That's insane. You were meant to live abundantly. You deserve whatever it is that you want, simply because you want it.

How to recognise depression

Mental health, not the sort of thing most people choose to talk about seriously. We've all heard the comments about 'Sad Sack', 'Mr Grumpy' or phrases like 'Smile, I'll pay for the stitches' or 'Stop moping around'. It saddens me every time I hear a remark like that, something insensitive or said out of plain ignorance, usually by people who have little or no contact with people who suffer from depression, and most certainly do not have a loved one or family member that suffers from depression or any other mental disorder, that can so easy get a tight grip on a sufferers life. It's almost tabboo if you think about it. Suffering from depression or mental health problems, is something that most people feel ashamed to admit. Who wouldn't, with comments like those above aimed right at you. If you have suffered from major depression or have had an episode of depression that has contributed significantly to a change in your daily life, facing up to comments like those above is something that you will have to accecpt sooner or later. What about those people who don't suffer a major depression or severe episode, whether life-threatening or not? Those of us who definately don't have depression and definately don't need to see a shrink to confirm what we already know: that we are not depressed! This brings me to the core of this article: How do you recognise depression? It is so very important to be vigilant. To be aware of the warning signs, and the earlier they are spotted, the better. Why? Because being depressed leads to behaviour that is not helpful. Behaviour that over time, is reinforced day after day, month after month. Slowly but surely getting a firm grip on your life. It is much harder to spot a change in behaviour if it occurs and develops gradually over time. But what are these signs and behaviour that we should look out for? The most common symptom of depression and one which most people think is the only one is having a persistant empty or 'sad' mood. This is not what can sometimes be reffered to as feeling 'down in the dumps'. The mood will last from several weeks at least. At which point you should see a psychiatrist or doctor. A feeling of pessimism, hopelessness or helplessness and being critical of oneself for never being good enough at anything no matter what we do. Depression can lead to a lack of interest in persuits someone usually enjoys. Feeling lethargic or having no enegry or drive, even for sex, is another symptom of depression that can slowly be re-enforced over time. Trouble with sleeping and eating is a symptom that most people would not usually associate with depression. Sleeping disorders are often dismissed as having developed a mild case of insomnia that will surely go away over time. Some people wake early in the morning and are unable to fall back asleep. Eating disturbances to, especially in women, can hide the depression, because the first thing that will come to mind is anorexia or bulimia. This is true, but we also need to place these symptoms in context, which is why it is so important to know the facts and symptoms of depression so that we can see the bigger picture. Depression often goes hand in hand with anxiety. Anxiety can also cause sleeping disturbances, as well as a feeling of dread, increased heart rate and more severely, panic attacks. Depression and anxiety can easily knock our confidence levels as both can lead to difficulty concerntrating and remembering or making decisions. These symptoms can climax with devistating effect. Within the workplace they can lead to a complete nervous breakdown where the person no longer knows, or can't remember how to do their job or how they even got there. Nothing makes sense and it can be very frightening when you are faced with a situation like this where you no longer know what is happening around you, or much less, why you are feeling this way. Depression can also manifest itself through persistent physical symptoms or pains that do not seem to respond to treatment. Irritable and losing ones temper are also symptoms of deppression, seen more often in males than females. Thoughts of suicide, attempts and plans are never to be taken lightly. Often, suicide attempts are a cry for help. Sometimes they are not. A person can be diagnosed with depression if four or more of the symptoms above have been present in a two week period or more. Not everyone will have the same symptoms so it is important to be aware and look for signs of all symptoms of depression. Remember, only a doctor or psychiatrist can diagnose depression.

Catching life s thermals on the feathers of intention

The Power of Love All of us - young or old, poor or rich, salt of the earth or intellectual, battling grave illness or enjoying phenomenal health - all of us want the same things in our lives. We must take care of our survival needs by providing shelter from the elements, food and sustenance for our bodies, and protection from dangers. Because we are social in nature, we need to connect with others in various ways. We need to belong, to be part of something larger than ourselves. Most of all we need love, and the more there is in our lives to enjoy, the better off we are in all ways. In a very real sense, love is what powers the universe. Love is behind the benevolence of the creator(s) in our stories about where we came from. Love is the one uplifting force that empowers us and allows our consciousness to grow. Our culture recognizes and honors the power of love in thousands of ways, each with endless permutations: Nothing stands in the way of a mother’s love for her children Spiritual love is the highest power of all Because of love, I am made whole Love me, love my (parrot, car, crooked smile, kids, etc.) Love makes the world go round. Can’t buy me love I’m a fool in love The Music of Love Where would Etta James, the Beatles or nearly every country western singer be without love to sing about? The lack of same, the loss, the regaining, the denial, the requited and the unrequited. Indeed, where would music itself be without love? It is love, after all, that stirs the heart to passion and the voice to sing. The Do-Re-Mi of love is equally qualified to express our sweetest feelings to our children as it is to let our mates know in no uncertain terms just how deeply felt our biological imperatives are on Saturday night after the kids have gone to bed. Love is such a complex and ubiquitous subject that our civilization, just as all the thousands before us and the millions more yet to come, our thoughts and feelings are filled with the artifacts of our discussions, songs and images about its various manifestations. Love is. And yet, love is not, also. In fact, love, so freely and unself-consciously given and received through all our connections, is the one thing we often lack for ourselves at our core level of being. We often do not love ourselves. How amazing! The Dance of Love A lack of self-love is first felt in very similar ways to that ballroom dance class you were forced into as a teenager in which you pretended to actually enjoy a kind of rhythmic spasm that could loosely pass for dancing. The shaky feet, the sweaty palms, the cracking voice. When it comes to self-love, there you are, quivering with your partner on the dance floor, ready to accept death as a suitable alternative to the foxtrot or the waltz. Despite your best intentions, your two left feet probably goofed you up socially for years, if not forever. You’ve compensated by finding other ways to appease and delight your dance partners. You’ve proven to each of them that they are indeed the objects of your affections and worthy of your most undying love. Just so, you’ve never really come to grips with what it takes to feel your own love of self. The most glaring way a lack of self-love shows up in someone’s life is in the failure of one’s intentions to manifest in desired ways. Nothing seems to work. Despite all the books and CDs on self-improvement, all the workshops, all the inner work, all the best intentions - your life is still not where you want it to be. Maybe your job really bites. Perhaps your relations have become stagnant and uninspiring. Maybe you’re just tired of the day-to-day routine that you’ve grown accustomed to over the past twenty years or so. Where Are You? Your best intentions seem to have proven to in fact be your most mediocre ones. What happened? The answer is incredibly simple after all. It’s been staring you in the face like the one that looks back at you every morning in the mirror. The answer is you! You need to fall in love with yourself! You need to quit shaking and sweating, forget about your quivering voice and your two left feet and begin to glide and swoop like your life depended upon it. Because it does. Your life - at least the one you’ve dreamed about - depends upon your spirit soaring to every greater and greater heights, something it cannot do if you cannot love yourself. The Feathers of Intention Intentions are the feathers that allow you to catch life’s thermals. Love buoys them up and makes them defy the earth as they waft ever higher and higher on the currents of your life. Trying to set an intention loose upon even the most gentle breezes, let alone the mighty gales of your at times tumultuous life, without the mastery and awareness that self-love brings, is simply an exercise in futility. Without self-love, your intentions won’t fly. They remain undirected and unmoving, stuck to earth like so much fluff plastered to a rock in a rainstorm. Fluff yourself up. Dry yourself out. Become as light and airy as the most ethereal down you can imagine. Prepare for takeoff. You are ready to launch your beautiful intentions into the glorious great beyond. You’re cleared for take-off. Have a good flight. Still here? Ah, yes. There’s that issue of self-love. Let’s take a moment to recap. What do we know for sure? We know that love empowers the entire world We know that self-love empowers us personally We know that intentions need empowerment to manifest Self-love Empowers Your Intentions We must quickly come to the conclusion that given that the above statements are true, the most surefire way (actually, the only way) for us to manifest our intentions is to tune into our love. If, however, our love is only a one-way affair, if we can only effectively give love to others but not to ourselves, no matter how hard we try, we’ll never be able to empower our intentions enough to create the vision we have for our life. I’ll say it again, because it bears repeating at this point: The most glaring way a lack of self-love shows up in someone’s life is in the failure of one’s intentions to manifest in desired ways. We all know how to visualize. We’ve been to all those workshops and read all those books, right? Some of us have accumulated many, many hours meditating and visualizing and praying and intending and sincerely trying to be worthy of having a good life. It’s all about self-love. It’s simple, really. Love yourself. Treat yourself at least as well as you would any other lover. Coddle it and cuddle it. Give yourself a big hug! Show your self that you care! Empower yourself and your intentions will start to float about as they were meant to. A beautiful, fluffy life is the life you’re really after, and you can’t get that kind of life being harsh with yourself. Lighten up! Let the feathers of your intentions land where they may.

Teach yourself to read faster

If you want to improve your reading speed, where should you start? The first step is to determine what your current reading speed is. Find some reading material to practice with, such as an article in a magazine, or use a chapter of a book. Set a timer for a short period, such as five or ten minutes. Start reading at your regular speed, and see how far you can get in the time allotted. Do not try to read faster or slower than normal; the object here is to find out what your regular reading speed is. When the time is finished, mark the page so you know exactly how far you read. You will need to count how many words you read in this amount of time. Now, using the same article set the timer again, for the same number of minutes. Start at the point in your article where you left off the last time. Do not re-read exactly the same material that you have just finished. This time, concentrate on reading much faster than you did the first time. Go as fast as you can while still taking in every word and maintaining your comprehension. Calculate your reading speed and compare it to your first effort. Did your score improve? Try again, striving to read even faster without sacrificing comprehension. If your performance has measurably speeded up, notice whether you feel relaxed or tense. Are you telling yourself that reading fast is hard? Many of the roadblocks you face in going faster are mental, in your mind, and can be changed. Many people have developed bad reading habits that slow them down. See if you make any of the following errors. When you read, do you read word for word? Or do you sweep your eyes across phrases and sentences? Trying to take in every single word will slow you down and even interfere with your comprehension. Why? Because in the English language, the meaning of sentences is built up from groups of words, from the way phrases and clauses are put together. Halting at every single word can keep you from absorbing the meaning of the entire sentence. You can actually take in the meaning of a sentence better by using your eyes to sweep across phrases and clauses, rather than slowing down to take in each word separately. A very common bad reading habit is called “sub-vocalization”. You have probably noticed that many young children who are just learning to read will sound out syllables and words to themselves. Many people continue to do this even as adults. The habit of sub-vocalization is a drag on your potential reading speed because your brain can take in and process information much faster than you can sub-vocalize. You can actually look at printed information and have it enter directly into the mind without moving your lips or sounding out the words in your head. If you have been sounding out the words in your mind while you read, you will not be reading at your optimal level. From now on, consciously make the effort to take in meaning from the printed page without hearing the words spoken in your mind. Another bad habit that slows down reading speed is going back and re-reading a line or phrase every time you think you may have missed a word. In many cases, going back to read the line again does not really improve comprehension. Simply eliminating this one negative habit could double your reading speed! Consciously practice making the effort to keep on reading, refusing to back track, until it becomes second nature for you. Most people when reading will sweep their eyes across each line of print from left to right. When they get to the end of the line at the right, their eyes jump to the beginning of the next line at the left. This is not always necessary, and it will slow you down. If you are reading columns that are not very wide, you may not need to sweep your eyes across every line from left to right. Practice looking at the center of the lines, and move your eyes down the column of print. See if you can still take in the meaning of the entire line this way. How can you tell if you still understand the material when you increase your reading speed? How do you know if you are missing something important? Getting through an article faster is of little benefit if you don’t understand most of it, or if you miss some vital points. Every time you finish an exercise to improve your reading speed, ask yourself, “What was the article about? What were the main points? What were the supporting arguments presented?” Write down what you understood and can remember. Then go back and read the original more slowly and carefully. Check it against what you have remembered. Were you correct in your understanding of what the article was about? Did you understand most of the main points? Did you miss anything important? Keep track of how your reading scores change over time. With practice you should be able to greatly improve your reading speed while maintaining a good level of comprehension. Stay relaxed and confident while you practice. Retraining your eyes and brain may require a committed effort on your part, but the results will be worth it in terms of reading speed gained.

How to choose to be happy

Anger, anxiety, guilt, regret and worry are all perfectly normal emotions. They are our mind’s way of telling us that something is wrong and we need to get off our keesters to fix it. As I have said many times before, we only have a limited amount of energy to stay healthy, age gracefully and live happily. It is up to you to choose how you spend that energy. “Okay,” you say, “that is great and all, but HOW do I choose to not be miserable?” Well, the first thing is to look at your irrational thoughts. Life is 10% reality and 90% what we make of it. Unfortunately, many people grow up learning irrational ways of thinking and negative ways of viewing the world. Characteristics of Irrational Thoughts Irrational thoughts are inflexible or “must-abatory thinking” Things must be just so. There are very few things in life we must do. I am about as rigid and inflexible as they come, I have learned that flexibility makes life a whole lot easier. 1. Get a stack of index cards. 2. One each card, write down one thing you feel you “must” do. Low and behold, you will often find that there are not enough hours in an 8-day week to get it all done. 3. Prioritize the cards in order of what is the most important. 4. Flip the cards over and write modifications to make the “musts” more flexible. For example, one of my musts is exercising. Long ago I was very rigid about exercising between 9 and 11 every single morning and had a very strict routine of what I did. As I had children, got a job etc., I quickly stopped being able to adhere as rigidly to that “must.” Other “musts” like caring for my kids and not getting fired moved up on the priority list. Nevertheless, I am a much nicer person if I get out my aggression at the gym, so on the back of the card, I would write alternatives like, workout at home, mow the lawn (a push mower and 2/3 of an acre gets out a lot of aggression), get up at 5 and go on a run etc. All these alternatives still let me accomplish the “must” of exercising, but provided me some flexibility. Irrational thoughts place unrealistic expectations on yourself or others and/or are non-self-accepting and/or fail to accept human fallibility. This one is harder, because most of us have difficulty identifying what “unrealistic” is. Further, what is unrealistic for you might not be unrealistic for me and vice versa. It is always helpful to ask someone else’s opinion of what is “realistic.” This goes for quantity and type of work as well as expectations for perfection. Life is much easier if you have realistic expectations of yourself and others and accept (and anticipate) that people make mistakes. Irrational thoughts demonstrate over-concern with others' opinion of yourself. If you find yourself getting all wrapped up in trying to get someone’s approval, ask yourself, “Why do I need his/her approval?” Many times it is helpful to differentiate between “like” and “respect.” Okay, ideally your boss and co-workers will like and respect you, but will it have a major impact on your life if they don’t? If they respect your work and know you do a good job, do you really care if they want to be your friend? People who need to be needed and must be liked often are exhausted trying to please everyone else and forget to take care of themselves. Irrational thoughts also assume your authority or superiority over others. This reminds me of a joke, How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it has to want to change. . . HarHarHar…I have said it before and will say it again, you cannot change another person. If you get caught in the trap of thinking that someone will change for you, you will be disappointed. When people change for anyone else but themselves, the change is only short-lived. This type of thinking also leads to conflict with others who also see themselves as the center of the universe. Both of you cannot be the center of the universe and, chances are, neither one of you is right all the time. You may indeed be right. Some people may be stupid, nevertheless, sometimes we all have to be subordinate to people who are wrong or ignorant. Irrational thoughts assume a clear-cut difference between right and wrong and that you have the ability to always accurately differentiate between the two. In reality, there are few clear cut answers. I tell my patients that they need to evaluate their decisions based on head-heart and gut honesty. If your head, heart and gut all are okay with the decision, it is probably a good one. What does that mean? Well, ask yourself, does this seem to make sense (intellectual/head honesty), can I live with this decision (heart honesty) and does it feel right or turn my stomach (gut honesty). Irrational thoughts place you at the center of the universe. People get all upset when they make a mistake or say the wrong thing. Get over yourself! You are not going to be in control all of the time, and the things you do and say are not really that memorable. Even some of the biggest faux pas only get you ribbed for a few weeks. Then there is something new to grab people’s attention. Irrational thoughts over-estimate your right to a trouble-free life and under-estimate your ability to cope with adversity. If you can view problems as challenges placed in your path to help you grow, it tends to take the edge off things. Many challenges are too great to cope with alone. The most effective people are able to realize when they need help or support from others. In sum, we all have irrational thoughts. When you start to feel angry, anxious or guilt-ridden, review the list above to see which statements best describe the thought patterns that are making you unhappy. Ask yourself: “What am I getting upset about?” “What thoughts/beliefs/self-talk do I have that are supporting my misery?” “Are these thoughts/beliefs/self-statements rational, productive and helpful?” If they are not, replace them with more realistic thoughts/beliefs/self-statements. Finally, remember that dwelling in negative emotions is just going to make you sick. Anger, anxiety and guilt are meant to make you take action, so get going!

The secret collection of inspirational quotes part 16

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. -- Max Ehrmann There is a destiny which makes us brothers, None goes his way alone: All that we send into the lives of others Comes back into our own. -- Edwin Markham To read more quotes visit: spiritual-simplicity

Can we have it all

Must we give something up in order to get what we want? Are you reconciled to hitting the invisible ceiling at work? Are you settling for just anyones affection? Or putting your passions away to pursue a 'normal life’? Do you allow authorities, statistics, desperation, and old voices from the past to cloud your vision of the future? The universe wants to give us everything, yet! We limit ourselves. While we can experience unlimited success, our success must be limited to just one or two areas in our life. The problem is we are resigned to these facts. Our limited thinking is precisely why we ‘eventually’ have to give something up. We don't permit ourselves to consider we can have it all. To raise the bar we should start with an uncompromising, unrelenting desire to give ourselves a 10 in every area of our lives. In school, we excel in many subjects; however, in some subjects forget about it. There may have been a point in time in our school career when teachers made us feel small in some subjects, so we just stop trying and resigned ourselves that it is true. However, much later, when school marks don’t matter and we can be ourselves we tend to find ourselves using the same old values we learned from our school days our peers or parents. You are here, now, reading this. If you have aspirations, hope, expectations you have a GOAL. Whatever it is you are doing right now you can also have whatever it is you are thinking of. Time to rethink! Discover you can excel at something you thought you stunk at. The universe wants us to learn that: We can have it all. Why not? A good starting point is to write down your thoughts and contact a Life Coach. Start to put those plans you thought were just pie in the sky to the test. Nothing is ever achieved if you don’t try.